2019: a challenging year

2019 has simply been difficult. Over the past year I truly feel like my brain has been reprogrammed. I have wrestled with the idea of being more vulnerable about life and struggles. For years I have told myself “I don’t owe an explanation to anyone, I can do this on my own” and that I was okay with that. But I was only hiding behind confusion and shame. Right now life is very hard, but also very wonderful. There is something amazing about sharing hard trials and perseverance with others around you. We are not meant to feel alone, but to feel supported and loved. 

I am constantly processing thoughts and emotions and how to share. I think this is a good place to start... Therapy. I wouldn’t be posting this without a lot of therapy. I counted and I have sat face to face with a therapist or a doctor for a total of 45 hours this year. Exposing everything and learning more about myself than I knew was possible. Usually feeling mentally, emotionally, and even physically exhausted week after week. And I am so proud. 

Right now I will leave some of my favorite quotes I’ve seen on Instagram. These specifically hit hard the first time I read them and are along the lines of what I’m dealing with. There are a lot of amazing Instagram accounts run by therapists who put their time and effort into sharing their wisdom... it’s basically free therapy.