You write a blog post about it!
I feel gaslit every 6 months when the LDS church holds their semi-annual conference for their active, believing members. I am transported back to another time in my life when I treated conference like a mormon Super Bowl and 110% participated. Conference felt highly anticipated. An opportunity to hear the Lord's mouthpiece speak? We sat on the edge of our seat to hear the "uplifting, edifying and motivating" messages. The more I prepared for the messages, studied the words and applied them to my life I would be blessed. Plus, the traditional games, foods and treats that go with the long conference weekend were memorable and comforting.
I've been on both sides now. I do not watch general conference or look forward to it. I was taught that the words spoken at conference by the Lord’s apostles and prophet become doctrine, they become like scripture. They share words we need to hear at this specific time on Earth. Right?
So now, twice a year, my loved ones tune in to watch and listen to conference. Men (and maybe 1-2 women) will inaccurately discuss me and tell my friends and family what to think and how to feel about me.
I am to be avoided and shunned. 1
Never seek counsel from me.2
I should fear for my safety. 3
I am a weak leak and I will not be with my family for eternity. 4
I will never know “joy”. 5
I am lost. 6
I will experience long term consequences. 7
I am deceived and a follower of Satan. 8
I am foolish and self-centered.9
I am living a lesser and lower life.10
I am lazy.11
I have no morals or values.12
and many more.
Would these statements deeply hurt you?
I am labeled and described as these things because I have chosen to not believe the same as those who listen to conference. The pattern of these words, phrases, rhetoric have always been there. As an impressionable child, teenager and young adult I soaked up these words. We could dive into circular reasoning and mental gymnastics to make sense of these quotes.
My only question is, why does any of this have to be said in the first place?
How does the LDS church benefit from saying these things? Why do these men use their position of authority to invalidate, discredit and vilify a group of people? Is it to convince another group to stay by using language that instills fear, shame and guilt? When you realize the goal of general conference is to keep it’s members attached to the church, everything they say makes more sense.
RESOURCES
“Avoid those who would tear down your faith. Faith-killers are to be shunned. The seeds which they plant in the minds and hearts of men grow like cancer and eat away the Spirit.” —Carlos E. Asay, October 1981 General Conference
“There is no end to the adversary’s deceptions. Please be prepared. Never take counsel from those who do not believe.” — Russell M. Nelson, October 2023 General Conference
“Keep your covenants and you will be safe. Break them and you will not.” —Boyd K. Packer, October 1990 General Conference
“You know that families can be eternal. Why put yours at risk? Don’t be the weak link in this beautiful chain of faith you started, or you received, as a legacy. Be the strong one.” —Carlos A. Godoy, October 2023 General Conference
“The unrighteous may experience any number of emotions and sensations, but they will never experience joy!” —Russell M. Nelson, October 2016 General Conference
“If you choose to become inactive or to leave the restored Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, where will you go? What will you do? The decision to ‘walk no more’ with Church members and the Lord’s chosen leaders will have a long-term impact that cannot always be seen right now” —M. Russell Ballard, October General Conference 2016
“They fall away; they apostatize. Tragically, they often experience short-term and eventually long-term unintended consequences, not only for themselves but also for their families.” —M. Russell Ballard, October 2014 General Conference
“One loses his testimony only by listening to the promptings of the evil one, and Satan’s goal is not complete when a person leaves the Church, but when he comes out in open rebellion against it”. —Glenn L. Pace, April General Conference 1989
“Who among us has not departed from the path of holiness, foolishly thinking we could find more happiness going our own self-centered way?” —Dieter F. Uchtdorf, October 2023 General Conference
“They’re not really happy, huh, Dad?” That statement has become a family joke whenever we see someone doing something we cannot do… They look happy and free, but don’t mistake telestial pleasure for celestial happiness and joy. Don’t mistake lack of self-control for freedom. Complete freedom without appropriate restraint makes us slaves to our appetites. Don’t envy a lesser and lower life.” —Glenn L. Pace, October 1987 General Conference
“Lazy learners and lax disciples will always struggle to muster even a particle of faith”.—Russell M. Nelson, April 2021 General Conference
“If religion is not there to help with shaping character and mediating hard times, who will be? Who will teach honesty, gratitude, forgiveness, and patience? Who will exhibit charity, compassion, and kindness for the forgotten and the downtrodden?” —Ronald A. Rasband, April 2022 General Conference
